Think of confidence as a muscle. The more you commit to strengthening it, the greater it will become. When you feel your confidence weaken, practice these four tools and learn to be more confident in yourself.
For a deeper dive into these tools and additional guidance on how to be more confident, take the Be You course.
Merriam-Webster defines confidence as "a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or reliance on one's circumstances." Simply put, confidence is whether we believe in ourselves or not, making it a personal and internal matter; yet we all let external sources dictate how we feel about ourselves.
What if we could give the power back to ourselves? What if we could learn to raise our consciousness, navigate the noise in our minds, and find the truth that we're more powerful and more in control than we believe?
It's possible to be more confident in yourself utilizing a few simple tools, all of which can be practiced in the chambers of your mind.
Four Tools to Be More Confident in Yourself
Think of confidence as a muscle. It must be exercised and put to regular use. It will be challenged and can falter, but the more you commit to strengthening it, the greater it will become.
When you feel your confidence weaken, practice these four tools and become confident in yourself.
Identify & Confront Your Fears
Lack of confidence can almost always be boiled down to fear. Whether they're known or buried deep within our consciousness, our fears act as barriers in our path. What you may interpret as a lack of confidence is fear throwing up a roadblock, preventing us from tackling new challenges and growing.
To push through fear, you must first identify what the fear is. While we all struggle with multiple fears, there are typically just a few that are dominant.
Call attention to your anxiety when you feel it. When your rational mind can say, "Oh, that's just my fear of (not being good enough, failure, losing control, etc.)," you take away some of its power. Once you identify your fear, you tend to feel better about it for a few reasons. Either the cause of your distress isn't as bad as it was making you feel, or you now have awareness, which will allow you to cope with and manage those feelings.
Name Your Critics
Fear isn't the only thing floating around in our minds, chipping away at our confidence. We all have voices in our heads telling us stories about ourselves, and these tales are usually formed from people or experiences in our past. Perhaps your parents had lofty aspirations that you haven't met. Or a teacher or coach said you weren't good enough. Or maybe a childhood friend who was less than kind.
We all have these voices that we need to learn to identify and name. You could have any combination of the following, and possibly a few more:
The Critic – The voice saying what is and isn't good enough.
The Judge – The voice judging what is and isn't worthy.
The Preacher - The voice in your head making you feel guilty and condemning you.
The Teacher - The voice reminding you of what you don't know.
The Cop - The voice deciding what's right or wrong.
When you hear a voice chime in and say, "You don't know how to do this," tell your teacher to be quiet. Or when you look in the mirror and say, "You look terrible today," silence your critic.
Like with fear, naming them takes away the power, making them easier to confront.
Clear Your Energy
Holding on to negative energy affects you both mentally and physically. Identify how you hold these harmful emotions. You may start to feel anxiety building up in your chest or find yourself dwelling on painful thoughts. Once you experience that negativity build-up, it's time to clear your energy.
Start by recognizing and stating aloud any negative emotions, bringing to light things you may not have even realized you were experiencing.
When stating your emotion, it's important to state it as a feeling rather than internalizing the emotion. When stating how you feel, say,"The truth is I FEEL…" rather than, "I am…." Saying you feel tired, rather than you are tired, makes it a temporary emotion or feeling, instead of who you are.
Once you've stated your feelings, take four long, deep breaths.On the fourth breath, physically lean away from the energy you breathed out and create space for positivity to take over.
Reference this video on clearing your energy to develop a daily practice.
Elevate Your State
When you're feeling down, the last thing you may want to do is smile or laugh, but that simple act can have amazing results.
When you smile, your brain begins to fight stress by releasing dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins, helping you recover from stress and reducing your heart rate. There are studies those chemical reactions occur even if you force a smile.
You can even take it a step further by engaging your whole body by bouncing or turning on your favorite song and dancing.
Elevate your state of being to help improve your emotions and boost your confidence.
It's Time To Be Confident in Yourself
You won't learn confidence overnight. It's an ongoing practice, requiring commitment and the ability to forgive yourself when you fail.
Start by incorporating these four tools into your life:
Identify and confront your fears
Name your critics
Clear your energy
Elevate your state
For a deeper dive into these tools and additional guidance on how to be more confident, take the Be You course. We'll help you find your inner confidence so you can become the most powerful, intelligent, and accomplished version of yourself.
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