Do you ever find yourself questioning your abilities? Or feeling too scared to pursue a new opportunity? Or dwelling on something you said or did that you believe was perceived negatively?
These are all ways a lack of confidence holds you back from being yourself. It takes confidence to step out without fear, doubt, or uncertainty, which is what it means to be you.
How a Lack of Confidence Holds You Back
There are numerous ways that a lack of confidence can hold you back. It can stifle your career, prevent you from pursuing a dream, and cause you to avoid forming relationships, to name a few.
When you look at your life and find it's lacking in certain areas, it's time to evaluate why. What fear is holding you back from pushing through a confidence barrier?
It's Time to Be You
Think of confidence as a muscle. It must be exercised and put to regular use. It will be challenged and can falter, but the more you commit to strengthening it, the greater it will become.
When you feel your confidence weaken, practice these three tools and become confident in yourself.
Identify & Confront Your Fears
Lack of confidence can almost always be boiled down to fear. Whether known or buried deep within our consciousness, our fears act as barriers in our path. What you may interpret as a lack of confidence is fear throwing up a roadblock, preventing us from tackling new challenges and growing.
To push through fear, you must first identify what the fear is. While we all struggle with multiple fears, there are typically just a few that are dominant.
Call attention to your anxiety when you feel it. When your rational mind can say, "Oh, that's just my fear of (not being good enough, failure, losing control, etc.)," you take away some of its power. Once you identify your fear, you tend to feel better about it for a few reasons. Either the cause of your distress isn't as bad as it was making you think, or you now have awareness, allowing you to cope with and manage those feelings.
Name Your Critics
Fear isn't the only thing floating around in our minds, chipping away our confidence. We all have voices in our heads telling us stories about ourselves, and these tales are usually formed from people or experiences in our past. Perhaps your parents had lofty aspirations that you haven't met. Or a teacher or coach said you weren't good enough. Or maybe a childhood friend who was less than kind.
We all have these voices that we need to learn to identify and name. You could have any combination of the following and possibly a few more:
The Critic – The voice saying what is and isn't good enough.
The Judge – The voice judging what is and isn't worthy.
The Preacher - The voice in your head making you feel guilty and condemning you.
The Teacher - The voice reminding you of what you don't know.
The Cop - The voice deciding what's right or wrong.
When you hear a voice chime in and say,"You don't know how to do this," tell your teacher to be quiet. Or when you look in the mirror and say, "You look terrible today," silence your critic.
Like with fear, naming them removes the power, making them easier to confront.
Clear Your Energy
Holding on to negative energy affects you both mentally and physically. Identify how you hold these harmful emotions. You may feel anxiety building up in your chest or find yourself dwelling on painful thoughts. Once you experience that negativity build-up, it's time to clear your energy.
Reference this video on clearing your energy to develop a daily practice.
It's Time To Be Confident in Yourself
You won't learn confidence overnight. It's an ongoing practice, requiring commitment and the ability to forgive yourself when you fail.
Start by incorporating these four tools into your life:
Identify and confront your fears
Name your critics
Clear your energy
Take the Be You course for a deeper dive into these tools and additional guidance on how to be more confident. We'll help you find your inner confidence to become the most powerful, intelligent, and accomplished version of yourself.
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