In 1999 I heard Jeff Olsen (now the CEO of Nerium), make a statement that literally changed the direction of my life. Invariably several times a year I am reminded how TRUE it is.
"Time either reveals or exposes who we really are."
The first time I heard that phrase; the “imposter” in me knew I would eventually be exposed as a fraud. I was in over my head professionally, was dishonest about my personal life, and looked like I had it together, when on the inside I was falling apart.
His little saying sparked my desire to study human potential, and to learn how to actually BE the kind of person I pretended I was. Novel concept, I know.
The phrase soon became a professional mantra and then a personal challenge. I wanted the passing of time to REVEAL who I was, rather than expose who I had pretended to be.
In order to achieve that, I had to do learn how to do several things:
- Be honest with myself, about myself. This was the most difficult step.
- Be honest with others, about myself, all of the time.
- Be obsessive about addressing any areas in my life where my actions did not match my intent. (This began my research on what is now Success Excelerator™.)
- Forgive EVERYONE, no matter what the wrong.
- Forgive myself, no matter what the wrong. This was more difficult than I thought.
- Never judge others, no matter what, because the judgment of others takes the focus off of self-assessment. If we want the passing of time to reveal who we are, we must not judge others or ourselves. It gets in the way of our own self-discovery and self-improvement.
- To not be offended when others judged me, no matter what. Although comments could hurt my feelings, I had to release the hurt rather than attach to the comment, which was usually a misperception by the person who judged me. Think about it: If someone says something about you, and you know it’s not true, why would you be offended?
- To not rush to defend myself when criticized or judged, because if I truly believed that time would reveal the truth, then I didn’t need to be worried about clearing it up now.
- To accept that “we attract what we need to heal” therefore, any situation that showed up in my life was to be used as a mirror for self-discovery. Specifically, I would ask: How did I respond? Why did I attract this experience? What it is in me that needed to be healed?
- And finally, to know that everything happens for a reason. We’re not being punished, we are simply being prepared.
So, will time reveal or expose who you are?